On Friendship

Friendship is a fickle matter. It's so difficult to make and maintain. The relationship between two people is sustained in a delicate equilibrium. But constant changes in the environment are always threatening to tear a friendship apart, whether it's a mutual misunderstanding or personality changes in one friend that the other person cannot accept.

I think in order to maintain a longer, healthier friendship, it's important to continuously give the other person the benefit of the doubt. It's exceedingly difficult, especially if his/her actions seem like a personal offense, but from my experience, often it's the environment that has temporarily changed the dynamics between the two people. Perhaps one side is trying to build a relationship and needs time to do so. Perhaps one side just needs time to focus on work. The level of love in that friendship hasn't changed, but if the other party is offended by the the change in amount of time the two get together and hang out, then the deterioration of the friendship becomes a self-prophesy originating from a simple nonacceptance of the others' time management skills. And that just sounds silly, no?

But perhaps this way of thinking is just a product of my own difficulty in making and maintaining friends. Because of that, I value the friends I do have to a much greater extent. And while I may not always show it, or I may be so absentminded that I don't even think about asking you the things that are important in your life, my love for you does not change. And I know that if you fail to do the same, I probably won't see it as a purposeful attack on our friendship; I'll attribute it to another, more benign and probable, reason.