New Hobby? Perhaps!

I bought myself an early Christmas present thinking that I'd take up photography. It's been a while since my digital artwork days. Drawing takes more time than I have available to dedicate towards it. So I thought photography would be an viable substitute.

And thus.. my Tumblr (http://sshu.tumblr.com/)! I'm still not sure why the thought of photography inspired me to sign up for Tumblr, but here we are. I'm thinking I'll periodically post my best photos. Hopefully it'll be a log that allows me to see progression in the years to come as I learn what all of these manual settings mean, composition, lighting, and all of that fun stuff. I've never taken a photography class so this is going to be a trial and error experiment. Perhaps I'll even post new lessons as I find them online. So far the Nikon Learn & Explore iPhone app has been a great starting point.

And here is my first Tumblr post.

Redundant to have it here too, but I really love the lights my roommate and I put up. I thought I'd share it to get everyone more into the holiday mood.

More to come.

Confidence is Key

Being a successful expert is half about knowing the material you're supposed to be an expert at and half about coming off as an expert. Every expert has moments where he doesn't know the material, but that doesn't make him any less of an expert.

The above lesson is a paraphrased version of two pieces of advice I received today. It's also a very difficult lesson for me to learn. There are definitely times when I'm certain I know my material and can easily answer any questions asked. I don't complain about those.

But I stumble when I'm not confident enough about the extent of my knowledge on a particular subject matter. This could mean anything, from something I barely glanced at to something I extensively researched. When I'm not confident, it's much more difficult for me to sound like an expert. And when I hear myself faltering, I can't help but stumble and stammer after every question asked. It becomes almost a self-fulfilling prophecy. The expectation that I will come off as a fool actually causes me to eventually come off as a fool.

The solution, logically, is to convince myself that I'm actually quite knowledgeable and will do fine in the spotlight. Of course this is always easier said than done. How often do people try and fail at convincing themselves of certain opinions? And then there's also the danger of succeeding too much and ending up with narcissism. I don't think narcissism is a problem for me, but that could also be the pride talking.

Yet I know it's possible to complete. I know this because I'm often the subject of my own psychological experiments. I have already tried to convince myself of several things, and in each case, by pretending to be something I thought I wasn't, I ended up being just what I wanted to be. For example, I used to believe I couldn't tell stories. But after telling myself to pretend to be a good story teller and fool the crowd into thinking I can actually tell stories, I ended up as a better storyteller than when I first started. The pretending actually made me better at something I wanted to improve.

At least there's still hope yet. I have plenty of time to pretend as if I'm good at something. I'll talk with a more authoritative voice. I won't shy away from eye contact. And from all this pretending, I'm hoping I'll actually turn into an expert, or at least fulfill the appearance half of coming off as an expert.

Voila! I turn crap into prettier crap.

No one will ever say a New Yorker has no ability turning garbage into art.



NYC filled Times Square with lawn chairs. A whole bunch of fatasses broke said lawn chairs. Pioneering artist ties lawn chairs together with cable ties and calls it art.

Amazing.

The Great Wall

The latest news is that I'm getting the keys to my new apartment today! Very excite.

It's a one bedroom, but my roommate and I are converting it to a two. Which means we went out and leased a wall. Did you know you could lease walls? Like people come in, construct a wall, and then take it down when you no longer want it anymore. This is still a novel idea for me.

This opens up a huge range of possibilities. Such as ditching the standard door and installing saloon doors for dramatic entrances every time. Or installing four walls for a small square room in the middle of the living room. Or requesting a garage door and playing Indiana Jones or Ali Baba every time you want to enter and exit the room.

Multiple people warned me of the impracticalities of straying from the standard wall/standard door combo, though, so I went with the boring and mundane choice. But that still allows me the option of decorating my wall. I haven't yet decided what I want to do with it. Wall decals seem all the rage, but I'm having trouble accepting the option of paying money for something I can paint myself. Perhaps I'll Tom Sawyer it and have a wall painting party and have people finger paint abstract pieces.

Any ideas?

Edibles

The New Yorkers and foodies will know just how wonderful a discovery I have made. My dad just bought a new grill, and I've learned that I can make Cuban grilled corn - a la Cafe Habana. Found the recipe online.

I made a couple of changes to the recipe. Instead of cayenne pepper powder/chili powder, I used Tobasco chipotle sauce (couple of dribbles before putting on the mayo and sour cream mixture). And because I didn't have Cotija cheese, I shredded some Monterey Jack and hoped for the best. But the best idea I had was adding some garlic powder to the sour cream and mayo concoction. Most other recipes called for garlic butter, so I decided to mix the two ideas for an even fattier (read: tastier) treat.

No pictures of the results, but you can bet the corn was effing delicious. Grilled until the husks burned off. Topped off with more lime juice than was necessary. Yum.

Burgers were involved too, but the corn definitely overshadowed the burgers. I'll have more time to experiment with different burger flavors in the future now that I've figured out I don't have to wait in line forever to get Cuban grilled corn.

Poem for you

Happy Summer

It's impossible to eat a watermelon
Without sweet nectar dripping down your chin
And a big, fat, goofy grin

My dad just brought home the first watermelon of the year. Countdown to summer begins.. now.

Happy Mother's Day

I was surfing online, and I found a video on Youtube of Shel Silverstein's reading of The Giving Tree, a childhood classic. I've posted the video below for those of you who want to reminisce or for those who haven't read the book yet. It's really quite touching.

How appropriate that I stumble upon this video today of all days. The Giving Tree (notice that Shel referred to her with a feminine pronoun) is a lot like my mom. She's never asked for much from her children. Instead, she agreeably gives everything of hers away whenever we ask.

Over the years I've taken a lot from my mom. I like to think that I've given things back, but I know I haven't returned the favor often enough. I'm not talking about material goods. My family was never one for giving presents and having objects lying around. I mean that I don't often show the appreciation that I actually feel. I'm not one to express my feelings often (okay, ever), but I'm also not sure if even just saying things like "thank you" and "I love you" are enough.

I do know that despite my yearnings for independence, I'll continue depending on my mom forever. Even when I'm old and she's given away all that she's could, I'll still need her around even if just for the company. At first, the little boy in The Giving Tree seemed like such a selfish brat, draining the tree of all her assets without even offering to nurture her in any way. But as I go through the story again, I also see that he has forever depended on the tree. He leaves, but always comes back. And I guess what I'm trying to say is, even though it may seem like I'm going off and doing my own thing, I'll always want to come back for my mom.

Photoshoot

It was warm and sunny last weekend, so I took this little monster out for some fresh air. A little sun mollified the beast for at least a little while.








"Does this camera angle make my butt look big?"


Ah, there's the holy terror we all know and love.

Hi there. Welcome to my life.

Sometimes, I wonder how often I've inadvertently become a part of people's memories. How many pictures have been preserved with me in the background? How many times have I made cameo appearances in videos tourists took as they walked down the streets of New York? How many families have I joined all around the world?

With more and more technologies becoming mainstream, I now have a slew of opportunities to be a part of people's lives. But now, with these technologies, I'm actively participating in random people's lives instead of just being a passive shadow. Active and invasive to the point where it's almost creepy - but for some reason it's entirely acceptable.

It used to be that only public figures made a name for themselves. But the lines between public figures and the everyday citizen are increasingly blurred. It's interesting how destinations like YouTube and Twitter have sprung up and just how willing people are to forgo the luxury of privacy in order to share their lives with people all over the place. As of right now, over 18 million people have watched David as he came back from the dentist. And every time I search Twitter for real-time news updates, I'm reading people's thoughts; people who I don't have any relationship with. I've also visited the domain name that shares my name and read a random girl's blog.

This leads me to wonder who I'm sharing my life with. I've publicly posted so much of my information in all pockets of the web. This blog is public (though I don't believe too many people are reading it). So in addition to me joining people's lives, I'm actively welcoming more people to be a part of mine.

Also, on a completely random tangent, I love The Sound of Music. I can't count how many times I've seen this movie.

New York on my Mind

Sometimes, the best thing to wake you up is to have a philosophical discussion at 9am on a Saturday morning. I got a call this morning from one of my very good friends. Among the other things we talked about, she brought up the point of how so many people in the city are lonely.

I've heard this sentiment echoed by other people before, but I never gave it much thought. It wasn't until this morning that I realized how true it is. Despite the fact that there are eight million people in Manhattan, I find that it's actually incredibly difficult to really get to know people. Sure, you meet people all of the time, but I've noticed that the fast-paced nature of the city almost undermines any attempt at fully getting to know people. Getting to know people takes time, time that most people just aren't willing to spend because there are just so many other things to do.

Instead of getting to know people, we (I say we because after five years, I can't help but be part of this culture) go through motions that make it seem like are. The lewd stares and cat calls up and down the street instead of cheerful hellos. The attempts at conversations on the subways/at the gym/in bars and clubs that get shrugged off by the disenchanted. The addiction to the one night stand.

There's also the pressure to socialize and surround yourself with people, which seems to only exacerbate the loneliness. Not only are people expected to spend their time patrolling the city's nightlife, there's often the obligation to be the social glue and host events. I don't mean to sound like I dread going out because that's certainly not true; I actually really enjoy experiencing new things and meeting new people. But I think that's also why I fall victim to thinking that it's necessary to go out all of the time if you don't want to get mistaken for a hermit. The excuse "I just want to sit at home and have a quiet night by myself" is never a valid one. Instead, to avoid a social engagement, the only excuse that'll work is "I have several other engagements that I'm obligated to attend. I feel really bad about missing yours."

My friend also mentioned that no one comes to the city for the sake of being in the city. There's always some other goal in mind. Whether it's to party all night or to make a fast buck doesn't really matter. I think that's a valid point. I came to the city for the job opportunities. But I don't see myself living in New York forever. I just don't think I can keep up with it. But at the same time, I miss the city when I'm away. I think there's something there that keeps drawing more and more people in. People are willing to try to forget their sense of loneliness in exchange for whatever it is that the city has to offer. As for me, I've developed my own ways of coping and surviving in the city. I've noticed that once you're comfortable with being by yourself, the loneliness fades.

Ring Ring

Scenario: A group of friends are hanging out. Everyone is talking, having a good time. Someone's cellphone rings. The owner answers the phone and leaves the room to go talk with a new friend.

I'm confused by this scenario. I admit I'm guilty of doing the very same thing, but the whole thing still confuses me. Essentially, by answering the phone, we're saying that the person on the other end of the line is very important. But when did someone's wireless voice become more important than the company of physical people? The act of picking up the phone in that situation demonstrates to those around us that the phone call is more important than the current conversation. Notice how I said "phone call" rather than "caller" - a notable distinction.

Of course the scenario above doesn't happen every time the phone rings. There are times when pick up and answer with a "Sorry, I can't talk right now." There are other times when we don't even bother picking up at all. But there are also many times when we do pick up.

What's even stranger is that everyone finds this completely acceptable. No one questions when someone leaves the room to take a phone call. Sometimes the phone call is even answered with everyone in the room present, everyone taking turns and participating in the phone call.

I think this is a result of just how integrated cellphones have become in our society. No one would've even considered answering landlines when there's company over. All phone calls used to go straight to the machine. But since cellphones have become extensions of ourselves, the person on the other end is as good as in the same room. There's less differentiation between physical presence and simple vocal presence with cellphones. And perhaps there's nothing wrong with that. Perhaps that's just a result of the societal changes.

Hmmmmmmmmmm... late night thoughts.

To Err is Human

Office dynamics fascinate me. I feel like Jane Goodall living amongst the chimps. I'm one of them, but at the same time, sometimes I feel like I'm not quite assimilated yet - still watching from the sidelines.

Today's topic is accountability. It seems like a lot of actions are motivated by people pushing responsibility out of their hands. In fact, I recently learned a new acronym for this: CYA (Cover Your Ass). That way, if there is a mistake, hopefully you'll be able to dig through old email chains or other forms of communication and push that mistake onto someone else. And when a mistake does get called out, replies are often littered with "we felt...", which also diffuses responsibility.

Today I was called out for a mistake. I had no one but myself to blame it on. But I wouldn't blame it on anyone else even if I could. I was always taught to own up to my own errors, so much so that it might even be a fault in the business world. So yes, everybody knew it was my mistake.

However, on the call with the client, my manager took ownership of the error. There was no "we screwed up", no finger pointing, not even an attempt to cover it up. Everyone from my company knew that it was my mistake, but no one on the client side knew the difference. Perhaps it is a common business practice that accountability eventually travels up the hierarchy, but I'm certainly not used to having other people take the blame for something I did wrong.

Common business procedures aside, I've taken this as a cue that I should be more honest about my own mistakes. This resolution might end up hurting me in the future, but I don't want to be one of those people who make vague statements about errors without attributing responsibility of those errors to anyone. It's not who I am nor is it someone I would want to become. I'd rather take ownership of my own mistakes because I feel better knowing that I deserve whatever consequences might befall me from those mistakes.

Though on the flip-side, my manager's prospective is to celebrate the acknowledgment of errors. Because once a mistake is acknowledged, it's much easier to learn from it. I've never heard that before, but I can certainly get behind that perspective.

Winning the game of Life

Sometimes things just work out better than you could've ever hoped for or planned. If this is the case, perhaps it's best to push pessimism aside and just chalk it up as a win because you know there'll be a time in the future when you're on your knees questioning "Why Me?". That's when you look back at one of the good times and neutralize your self-pity.

My Introvert Advantage

I finished reading The Introvert Advantage by Marti Laney about a month ago in hopes that I would be able to pick up lessons on how to suppress my introversion when it's necessary. I agree with a lot of things said in the book. I get drained when trying to be social. Don't get me wrong, I can be social when necessary, but I need time to myself afterward to recharge my energy.

However, the farther I got into the book, the more I realized that my introversion doesn't even compare to some other people's. I never realized that I could possibly be more of a moderate introvert. On the scale of extrovert to introvert, I must fall somewhere close to the center. There were several statements in the book that just didn't quite apply to me.

Introversion must be a product of one's natural genes and the environment in which one grew up. I get the sense that I could've been a very different person had it not been for the friends that I've decided to surround myself with or for my nature to want to continuously challenge myself and push myself outside my comfort zone. Without those, I do think my laziness and awkwardness could've left me as one of those who sat at home and spent way too much time on the internet in order to avoid social situations save with very close friends. Instead, I discovered that I love meeting new people, and the more I go out and experience new things, the more open I am to new ideas.

I think a great example of the type of introvert I am comes from the pitch to a pretend client that my entire department at work had to participate in. The pitch was to win the digital advertising business of a fake new cigarette that's non-toxic, non-addictive, and healthy. Like many introverts, I'm not one to outwardly display my emotions. In fact, I'm pretty sure no one could tell I was extremely excited about the project unless they really knew me. I couldn't even tell just how excited I was until I volunteered to be one of two people presenting the pitch in front of the entire team and a group of judges (three very senior-level people). I was completely out of my comfort zone. The presentation made me quiver just thinking about it, but my excitement, the adrenaline, and my love of taking on new challenges helped me overcome my stage fright.

While I might not be the huge introvert I once thought I was, I was still able to take away one lesson from the book - I can't become who I want to be by simply reading a book. I was privileged to have the environment to push me to do the steps in the book pretty early on in life, and if I continue to be myself, I'll end up satisfied with who I am. I'm already pretty happy with the person I'm shaping up to be.